My Girl Friend Is Tempting My Boyfriend: I want to take action

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and almost 2 months. We have had many problems in the past. But now he talks to another girl who was always flirting with him and he usually flirts back.
The thing is that both of us (me and that girl) are big flirts by nature. She used to be my friend but she goes around from guy to guy a lot and she has always had her eye on my guy. She pisses me off. But they are like best friends. I’m not sure if I should be jealous and make a big deal about it.
That’s just one of the problems... Also recently we have been fooling around (we don’t have s*x) but I let him go down on me and we have been nak*d on his bed and I also let him fin-ger me but he has never really pushed me into s*x with him or anything. But it scares me because what if when we do have s*x, he leaves me?


This is the first guy I have ever been so serious with. I don’t want to have s*x but I’m still scared. And because she is in the picture, I’m not sure if I should ignore my thoughts and just go with my feelings or just drop it and leave him.
The third is our age difference. This hasn’t been a problem yet but I’m 18 and he’s 32. It makes me wonder, can our age change things between us?
- A young girl by the name Alice sent this to Aunty Julie. Read her reply below:
Dear Alice,
You’re indeed wondering about lots of things. The bottom line is that no one can tell you what to do because only you know the full picture and any decision has to be yours. Flirting as you say can just be playing around that isn’t serious.
We can flirt just for fun but as you describe, sometimes it doesn’t feel like fun for girls (or boyfriends) who are watching and wondering. Only you can decide whether to be bothered about it and to talk to them.
You do need to decide about being s*xual or not though. It’s good you are feeling you don’t want s*x yet because you are young. It sounds like you are also worried about having s*x and finding the relationship might not survive. But it’s good your boyfriend isn’t pushing you to go further.
The age difference is a funny thing. It means different things to different people at different ages and varies between guys and girls. You have been together for quite a while and so, it sounds like the age difference hasn’t been a problem so far.
So what do you want to do? Maybe write out some of your thoughts and worries to get them out of your head. Sometimes when we’re bothered by something, that feeling is telling us something we need to face or do. But our imaginations or worries can sometimes just play games with us.
Only you can decide.